Why sacrifice your sanity, your happiness and your youth for comfort, safety and control?
Leaving behind what does nothing but harm you, is not giving up or running away; it is simply realizing your own worth.
You are never stuck, locked up or forced to stay, you can always choose to start over.
Keep your head up, keep your eyes on your goal, keep your dreams alive. Keep going.
Unwind me // Wind me up
Shut me off // Tighten my spring
Put me back into a box // Break my walls
Cut my vocal cords // T
ie marionette string to my tongue
Knit my lashes together // Paint my eyeballs pink
Fold my ears inside out // Make the mice roar
Suffocate the light // Set fire to the world
naked and cold a lonely night
deep darkness hiding the sin
concealing the poison
head spinning, heart beating, blank mind
this unexpected but awaited escape
one last thought
quickly thinking it through
looking for that ounce of regret
not finding it
and then grabbing the bottle by the neck
bending a fork
naked and cold
do you have to go?
i know you have to go.
i have to go.
but do you, really?
you have to go now.
i have to go now.
i have to leave.
do you really have to leave?
you will miss your train.
i will miss my train.
i wish i could stay.
don’t miss your train.
(please miss your train)
i don’t want to miss my train.
(i really want to miss my train)
you can’t stay.
i can’t stay.
i love you.
i love you too.
Wrapped in familiar arms everything was simple. Here it would be easy to stay.
Then I heard your voice, even though it was miles away it pulled me back.
We belong to trains underground, Coca Cola owned wheels and a clock named Ben.
We write our stories on crinkled coffee shop napkins, with cheap jet black eyeliner. Rough at the edges, smudged lines; fairytales but with tragic endings and without sparkling bliss.
Rays of sun through glass windows compete with our clouded minds and rainy eyes. Sorrows braided into galaxies, puddles made into swimming pools.
We are just spilled paint in an art portfolio, the shards in a broken mirror.
She could not help it. The laughter had taken over her being and now she only existed as the uncontrollable exhales. That was all she was; which was far more than she had ever been. A shell or perhaps a mask. Covering up the lack of substance and personality.
It wasn’t her fault; at least not entirely. The world could’ve have been a bit more understanding of her chaotic creativity. But the way it always goes she was branded a lunatic.
At first she’d fight it. Tell people off. Stand up for her beliefs. Eventually she stopped. Her efforts were all for nothing. Realising she would never be seen as anything but, she instead became it. She did not own it; she was consumed. The very essence of her being had abandoned its independence and was now solely an image of what other people saw in her. Their prejudice; most of all their belief that she would never be anything but.
And so it goes. The different become freaks and individuality withers and dies.
After talking – and not talking
After lingering looks
After dancing – dancing too close
Before regreting – and not regreting
Before wondering – wondering what might be
During fairy lights
During happening – and not happening
During moments – moments when time stands still
She sat in the corner trying to hide the fact that she was eating a co-oped bought donut in an itsu restaurant. Life had been stressful, it still was. A rushed move had taken place a few days earlier and they were now stuck, stuck in a place that reminded them both far too much of pink bathroom walls. During the last couple of days she had stopped feeding herself, surviving only on the occasional donut. But she wasn’t alone in feeling a bit homesick, they all felt it, the longing for someplace safe, someplace where the future wasn’t painted in black and grays. For all of them existing wasn’t as easy as it had been a month ago.
peel off my skin
and rip my heart out
Hold me in your hands
poke it gently
Point at my busy arteries
Play on my heart strings
I’ll let you
because you are the only music
In my veins