Like crazy


I miss you a lot, like crazy

I want to ask you, stay

Show you my scars 

The hole in my heart 

But I cannot (ask)

You’re a riddle, still

Figuring out yourself 

I’m just a plain page, unworthy of your time 

I need you, but 


You’re not mine anymore 

Belonging to other streetlights, on the river 

Under dazzling eyes, red in the night 

Across an open sea, far (away) 




relief – poem


naked and cold a lonely night

deep darkness hiding the sin

concealing the poison

head spinning, heart beating, blank mind

this unexpected but awaited escape

one last thought

quickly thinking it through

looking for that ounce of regret

not finding it

and then grabbing the bottle by the neck

bending a fork

liquid relief

naked and cold



art portfolio

Art, Words

We write our stories on crinkled coffee shop napkins, with cheap jet black eyeliner. Rough at the edges, smudged lines; fairytales but with tragic endings and without sparkling bliss.

Rays of sun through glass windows compete with our clouded minds and rainy eyes. Sorrows braided into galaxies, puddles made into swimming pools.

We are just spilled paint in an art portfolio, the shards in a broken mirror.
~ J

Lack of substance 

Art, Words

She could not help it. The laughter had taken over her being and now she only existed as the uncontrollable exhales. That was all she was; which was far more than she had ever been. A shell or perhaps a mask. Covering up the lack of substance and personality. 

It wasn’t her fault; at least not entirely. The world could’ve have been a bit more understanding of her chaotic creativity. But the way it always goes she was branded a lunatic. 

At first she’d fight it. Tell people off. Stand up for her beliefs. Eventually she stopped. Her efforts were all for nothing. Realising she would never be seen as anything but, she instead became it. She did not own it; she was consumed. The very essence of her being had abandoned its independence and was now solely an image of what other people saw in her. Their prejudice; most of all their belief that she would never be anything but. 

And so it goes. The different become freaks and individuality withers and dies.


New Years’


It’s morning

After drinks

After talking – and not talking

After lingering looks

After dancing – dancing too close


It’s evening

Before anxiety

Before regreting – and not regreting

Before confusion

Before wondering – wondering what might be


It’s night

During fairy lights

During happening – and not happening

During extacy

During moments – moments when time stands still




Art, Words

I feel like I need to preface this. It’s ehm… It is what it is. It’s very sappy and cheesy and sad and cliche but I wrote this when I was feeling all of that so it fits, I guess. It’s not a poem but it might be poetry. Just like life.

You are everything,

I could’ve had,

I could’ve wanted.

Dark green eyes

show a sparkling soul

and a world I want to revisit.

You hold me close,

stars dancing above our heads

And I know that in another world,

another universe,

There are no black empty holes.

that in another galaxy,

My wish upon that falling star

might come true.

You say in a light year

or half a year

Our orbits might collide

and we will be

Moonlight and Stardust

once again.

~ J

My love – A (Christmas) poem

Art, Words

My love has two left feet

She waddles about and I cannot help

laughing when she dances around the Christmas tree


My love has one lazy eye

Sometimes I occasionally hide

from her in plain sight when she wants me to help make pie


My love is the one

I forever shall deeply and truly love

even if a bit whimsy she still holds this love of mine



Rain, Cats and Wine – A Short Story 

Art, Words

The onlooker couldn’t help but stop and observe, on the other side of the street five teenagers huddled together as the sky viciously kept pouring down on them. They were a strange sight, all of them completely different but somehow connected. Maybe it was the look of naïve adventure in their eyes, or maybe it was their love for the lamp lit city around them, that brought them together.
Making a move for it the girl with short black hair and short black fringe took the lead. Following her Shaun the Sheep backpack, oversized blue, red and yellow 80’s jacket the other four struggled to keep up with the pace of her DrMartens at first, but they all caught up eventually, disappearing into the Waterloo tube station.
The onlooker couldn’t help but follow, tailing after the ginger ponytail, charcoal skirt and green jacket of the girl running at the end of their odd little group. 
Dreading but also longing for the drops of water falling from the sky they all emerged from the station, The ginger ponytail quickly protecting herself with an umbrella. She said something to the girl with long blond hair, a black bomber and 90’s mum jeans, running in front of her. To the onlooker it sounded unfamiliar but the onlooker did not have time to think about it, before a car rushed by them and suddenly the ginger ponytail, mum jeans and the fourth and last girl-with a loose curly bun and green checkered jacket- in their odd equation were hit with the sudden sensation of it raining horizontally. They all stopped in a moment of pure shock in which the guy running, behind the 80’s jacket, with a buzzed head hidden under a cap wearing a black, white and red satin bomber, turned around and exclaimed “That was like something out of a movie”, before they all unfroze again. They ran around a corner and the onlooker tried to follow but lost the unusual quintet as the onlooker got blocked by all the people rushing to take cover from the still crying sky.

Trying to shake off the feeling of losing something valuable the onlooker couldn’t help but imagine where the 80’s jacket, cap, curly bun, mum jeans and ginger ponytail hade gone. The onlooker imagined them in a fairylit pub with brick walls and a cat roaming around, a place only a few people knew about, a place for writers and enthusiasts like themselves. The onlooker imagined them ordering drinks, talking about the 80’s jacket and the curly bun’s stay in Paris-books, bottles of wine and Shakespeare and co- and their upcoming month in the same city- Halloween, a tiny apartment and even more wine- as both girls sipped on a glass of their favourite drink which seemed to magically refill every time the curly bun reached for her bag. The onlooker imagined the cap passionately talking about politics, immigration, brexit and the hopes of the future, a future where their generation was the one making the decision, a generation of change. Lastly the onlooker imagined the mom jeans and the ginger ponytail devouring every second of every conversation, realising that moving might have been one of the best decisions  they have ever made and maybe just maybe they wouldn’t go home next year, but rather keep moving, keep exploring.

➢ M