Like crazy

Art

I miss you a lot, like crazy

I want to ask you, stay

Show you my scars 

The hole in my heart 

But I cannot (ask)

 
You’re a riddle, still

Figuring out yourself 

I’m just a plain page, unworthy of your time 

I need you, but 

 

You’re not mine anymore 

Belonging to other streetlights, on the river 

Under dazzling eyes, red in the night 

Across an open sea, far (away) 

 

⇝K 

relief – poem

Art

naked and cold a lonely night

deep darkness hiding the sin

concealing the poison

head spinning, heart beating, blank mind

this unexpected but awaited escape

one last thought

quickly thinking it through

looking for that ounce of regret

not finding it

and then grabbing the bottle by the neck

bending a fork

liquid relief

naked and cold

relief

 
~J

go!

Words

do you have to go?

i know you have to go.

i have to go.

but do you, really?

you have to go now.

i have to go now.

i have to leave.

do you really have to leave?

you will miss your train.

i will miss my train.

go, now.

leave.

i wish i could stay.

me too.

don’t miss your train.

(please miss your train)

i don’t want to miss my train.

(i really want to miss my train)

go.

stay.

please stay.

i’ll stay.

you can’t stay.

i can’t stay.

i love you.

i love you too.

go!

 
~ J

art portfolio

Art, Words

We write our stories on crinkled coffee shop napkins, with cheap jet black eyeliner. Rough at the edges, smudged lines; fairytales but with tragic endings and without sparkling bliss.

Rays of sun through glass windows compete with our clouded minds and rainy eyes. Sorrows braided into galaxies, puddles made into swimming pools.

We are just spilled paint in an art portfolio, the shards in a broken mirror.
~ J

New Years’

Art

It’s morning

After drinks

After talking – and not talking

After lingering looks

After dancing – dancing too close

 

It’s evening

Before anxiety

Before regreting – and not regreting

Before confusion

Before wondering – wondering what might be

 

It’s night

During fairy lights

During happening – and not happening

During extacy

During moments – moments when time stands still

 

⇝K

A month of xxx’s

Words

It’s only been a month, and I’m so scared yet so sure.

I’m scared I fell too quickly, scared it is not real – HE is not real.

I’m so scared of the voices telling me to slow down, but even more scared of those telling me not to. 

I’m terrified of these potential feelings, call it love or whatever, and terrified that the feeling of not deserving this won’t go away, ever.

I’m scared the texts are going to stop, scared of the xxx’s becoming a dreaded habit, scared I’ll scare him away or bore him to death.

I’m scared he will stop taking my hand in his whenever we walk somewhere, scared his fingers tracing the stars on my skin will stop being the best feeling in the world.

I’m afraid that he’s the one, and that he’s not.

I’m so scared. But also so sure.
~ J

Moonlight+Stardust

Art, Words

I feel like I need to preface this. It’s ehm… It is what it is. It’s very sappy and cheesy and sad and cliche but I wrote this when I was feeling all of that so it fits, I guess. It’s not a poem but it might be poetry. Just like life.


You are everything,

I could’ve had,

I could’ve wanted.

Dark green eyes

show a sparkling soul

and a world I want to revisit.

You hold me close,

stars dancing above our heads

And I know that in another world,

another universe,

There are no black empty holes.

that in another galaxy,

My wish upon that falling star

might come true.

You say in a light year

or half a year

Our orbits might collide

and we will be

Moonlight and Stardust

once again.

~ J